As the country gins up for another presidential race, the Doonesbury Town Hall presents for your viewing pleasure an exclusive look back at the campaign videos of Duke2000 -- Ambassador Duke’s “Absolutely Nothing To Lose” run for the White House as a maverick Reform Party candidate. E-campaigning from his headquarters at the E-Z Rest Motor Lodge in Coon Rapids, Minnesota, Duke set out to prove that an average citizen, with nothing more than a laptop, a few spam speeches, and a sackful of soft money, could make political history. His cutting-edge 3-D motion-capture animation campaign spots were so ahead of then-existing bandwidth capabilities that only now, two election cycles later and thanks to YouTube, can they be widely viewed and fully appreciated.
Duke takes the podium at the “Webby Awards”, announcing the winners in two major categories: “You sure these sites are still going? What was the cutoff date here, because I think a few of them have tanked.”
UNDER THE HOOD
Announcing the results of a recent exam at the Mayo Clinic, Duke gives himself a clean bill of health: “I hit the cup from three meters away. And by the way, the waiting room was stunned.”
HOSED
A behind-the-scenes look at one of the campaign’s lower moments, as the fully-prepped candidate is unceremoniously bumped from a national TV interview: (“Remember, Larry is your friend.”)
POODLES
In an interview with a British reporter, Duke unveils his relocation plan for undesirable wildlife: (“For 20,000 years man battled against the forces of nature. And in the end, we whipped the environment like a circus pig.”)
FORGOTTEN WHITE GUY
In a rare display of compassion the candidate defends his beleagured kinsman: “In short, he’s a mess. Attacked on all sides. Blamed for 2,000 years of war, slavery, poverty and pollution.”
GOING UP?
A presidential candidate’s worst nightmare -- a nightmare about being the worst presidential candidate: “I thought he was dead.” “No, that’s just his campaign.”
OUR COMMON MANHOOD
A unplanned incident of minor gunplay livens up a tour of Duke’s campaign headquarters: “The NRA believes every American should be in a position to return fire, you know, in their day-to-day life.”
A DAY IN THE LIFE
This off-the-record, vividly black-and-white webcam footage captures the candidate as he logs some extreme downtime in his motel room.
DIRT DEVIL
The candidate candidly assesses his sex appeal, judging it a significant force multiplier in wooing women voters: “Duke for president. Because you know you want me. Did I mention that I’m not wearing any pants?”
TODAY SHOW
A rare early-morning appearance by the candidate, described by co-host Katie Couric as "the most interesting political interview I've done in months."
LARRY KING LIVE
The former Ambassador announces his candidacy and lays out his education policy: "One teacher for each subject, and give'em a cable channel. Let the kids watch from home."
STIRRED, NOT SHAKEN
The high-flying candidate experiences mental turbulence in the way-too-friendly skies: "What about my martini? I paid full fare for this seat, lady, and I've had practically nothing to drink."
DEBATE 2000
In this memorable three-way faceoff, moderated by Jim Lehrer, Ambassador Duke engages his opponents with unrelenting forthrightness: "Look no further, cupcake. You want to deal with me? You really want a piece of me? Bring it on.”
FAT TAX
A bold proposal for creating serious tax disincentives for the weight-challenged: “You tax smokers, why not over-eaters? The seat-spillover is out of control.”
