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Barbara Ann Boopstein
During her Hollywood heyday, Barbara Ann Boopstein was called "the drinking man's
Meryl Streep." Stardom has thus far eluded the Divine Miss B, but she knows it's only a
matter of lifetimes. She speaks with a certain authority: in a previous incarnation she was
Lorna Doone. Her theatrical credits thus far include numerous exercise videos and several
teensploitation flicks. She was featured in the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated, played
Barbara Bush in the made-for -TV movie Poppy: The War Years, and was mentioned in
Andy Warhol's diary. Activities in service to her country include co-hosting the Times
Square victory parade marking the end of the Cold War, posing for a popular pinup
poster for the Desert Shield troops, and working with the Malibu Military Family
Support Group. She served on the California State Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem,
and, on the personal front, was delighted to be Babe of Honor at Hugh and Kimberly
Hefner's wedding. Regrettably for her fans, she did not make the cut in "Survivor"
tryouts. But her body, bit-mapped and scanned, lives on in a variety of media, generating
royalties as the template for Lara Croft in "Tomb Raider" and Julia Roberts' breasts in
"Erin Brockovich". Having concluded a longtime association, Boopsie no longer shares her
body with the channeled 25,000-year-old warrior Hunk-Ra. Along with college
sweetheart and Fighting Swooshes football coach B.D., daughter Sam and nanny Zonker
Harris, she once again calls Walden home.
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