........Trump on special counsel Jack Smith: "A f***ing asshole."....Trump on Fulton County DA Fani Willis: "Mrs. Wade...A real beauty."....Michael Cohen nickname for Trump: "Von SchitzinPants."....Rachel Maddow: "I did not think [the wheels of justice] would grind so slowly that they would rock the defendant apparently to sleep...We are dealing with someone who is fundamentally buffoonish."....Andy Borowitz on Trump's trial-dozing: "Could it be that he's finally as bored with himself as we've been for decades?"....Trump on Biden presidency: "A Gestapo administration...Joe Biden and the fascists that control him are really the true threat to democracy."....Rep. MTG: "It's antisemitic to make Israeli aid contingent on funding Ukraine Nazis."....former GOP Rep. Ken Buck: "Moscow Marjorie is focused on this Ukraine issue, and getting her talking points from the Kremlin."....Michelle Cottle on MTG: "When Russian propagandists start praising your politics and beauty, it's time to rethink your life choices."....Rep. Jared Moskowitz to MTG: "There are no concentration camps in Ukraine...No gas chambers. No ovens...Stop bringing up Nazis and Hitler...Get yourself over to the Holocaust Museum. You go see what the Nazis did."....Trump: "Crooked Joe Biden HATES Israel and Hates the Jewish people. The problem is that he HATES the Palestinians even more."....Maureen Dowd: "What could be more absurd and hypocritical than the putative Republican nominee selling Bibles and promoting an America with draconian abortion laws during his trial over a $130,000 payment to keep a porn star from telling voters about their dalliance?"....Jennifer Rubin on election fraud trial: "Unable to mask his emotions in the midst of a narcissist's worst nightmare, Trump has never looked so small, so weary, and so feeble."....Trump press secretary Karoline Leavitt: "This is a communist show trial in the media capital of the world. It is cruel, it is unjust."....Vivek Ramaswami: "The whole point of Donald Trump's trials is not that they were supposed to be fair. They were designed to be unfair from the get-go."....Trump on Biden: "He will surely be Indicted and Tried for many of his Dishonest, Illegal, or Incompetent Actions."....Mary Trump on her uncle: "He's truly the worst person in any room...He gazes into a mirror, sees a god, and expects us all to bow down. His ego is like a black hole."....Jordan Klepper on Trump: "The king of pettiness."....Trump: "Biden has destroyed our country."....Rep. Jamie Raskin: "They should move the Supreme Court over to the RNC headquarters, because they're acting like a bunch of partisan operatives."....Jimmy Kimmel on Trump: "He should be on the cover of Doing Time magazine."....Trump on RFK Jr.: "A Democrat 'plant.'"....RFK Jr. on Trump: "Unhinged."....former Trump AG Bill Barr: "A continuation of the Biden administration is national suicide, in my opinion."....Nick Offerman on Trump v. Biden: "Would you rather have a pile of dogshit or a loaf of bread?"....
Readers new to Doonesbury sometimes experience a temporary bout of character shock. To help you map out the intricate web of relationships that form the Doonesbury universe, this alphabetical directory offers up-to-date color portraits and brief biographies of all the main characters. (Don't try to stop us; we're on a mission here.)
